I’m writing this 4 days after Brady was born. I’m sure I am leaving some things out, but this is what I remember from that special day.
I had a plan to have my baby boy with no drugs as long as it was possible. I never wanted to be a "hero" or "martyr," but wanted to try for an un-medicated birth for his benefit. With the advise of a co-worker, I hired a doula. I recommend having a doula by your side even if you don't plan to go natural/without drugs. She was AMAZING. Thank you, Kim!
5 days after my due date, my water broke at 3:45am.
I brushed my teeth, took a shower, and just took my time. I woke up Matt and made some phone calls around 4:30am. I was having mild contractions, so we decided to go to the hospital. We arrived at the hospital by 6am.
From the time my water broke, I went about 14 hours with no meds at all. The contractions were initially mild, but got more intense as the day progressed. Even though I wasn't screaming or may not have seemed like I was in much pain, it was painful. But I was handling it. Matt and Kim helped me through each contraction, and breathing in and out deeply also made it bearable. I just took one at a time.
By 4pm the doctor ordered pitocin because I wasn't making enough progress. I was on the clock because my water broke, so I had only so much time to get baby out. (According to OBs, you only have so much time after your water breaks before an infection could set in). It took about 2 hours for me to actually get the pitocin, which was fine by me. Take your time.
Pitocin made the contractions A LOT worse. Still taking one at a time; and still no epidural because I kept thinking it would end soon. Nope. I went from 7-9cm in an hour (6-7pm), but I made no progress from 7-10pm.
The contractions after the pitocin and other interventions were not bearable for me. The doctor came in to see how my contractions were after the initial pitocin was given. She said she didn't think they were intense enough. This is after watching me for less than 5 minutes. She said maybe I had a high tolerance for pain, but wasn't buying it. So she made the nurse double the dose. THAT SUCKED! I cried - because she was a B, but also because she doubled the dose. Then when I wasn't looking, she raised it again. I remember looking at the nurse and resident who looked so upset by the doctor’s orders to raise the dosage. The whole room seemed to take a turn for the worse because of her negativity. I didn’t see the dr much during my labor (when she was there, she was pure negativity. She even had a permanent scowl on her face), but the nurses helped out a lot and knew how hard I was working. They were great.
I should mention that this was not my normal doctor, but the doctor who was on-call from the same medical practice. Lucky me.
The doctor even performed an amniotomy, which by the way she didn't even ask if she could do. Once that happened, my contractions sent me THROUGH THE ROOF - as if they weren't bad enough. I remember finding a spot on the ceiling I could focus on during each contraction. WOW!
Just before 10pm, the doctor checked me again and I made no progress. She even said I wasn’t even at 9 cm. UGH. So when we thought I was at 9cm for 3 hours, I wasn’t. Talk about discouraging. She said I had to get a c-section (again, because I was on the clock). Once the dr told me I had to have a C, everyone was so sad, because we had all been through so much. We all felt so defeated. It was like the whole room deflated. I remember looking at Matt who looked lost. I think he felt so helpless at that point.
But once she told me I had to get a c-section…once that decision was made…all I could think about was getting that epidural. I wanted it immediately, and it wasn't happening fast enough. I knew there was no way I could do another hour of this and I doubted my ability to be able to push. Bring me that epi!
The c-section was not what I thought it would be. I always read that you would feel a tug/pull and some movement. Just when they said I would feel a little more pressure, I screamed! It was awful. They were pushing and pulling so hard, I thought they were going to break my ribs. I really did! I was scared. And then it was over. 18 hours of pain med-free labor, and it was over within 15 minutes of being wheeled into the O.R. Brady was here and he was beautiful!!
Why a c-section?
The reason I wasn't progressing was because the cord was wrapped around his body and he couldn't descend. Brady was also posterior - his back was where his front should have been and his body was stuck.
Positives:
Brady is perfect. He was worth it and I would do anything for him.
Since the pitocin was given to me, the only thing that kept me sane and from climbing the walls was squeezing Matt. Without him there, I don't know what I would've done. They always say that you will forget the pain of childbirth. Maybe if you have the release of a vaginal delivery. But I will never forget that pain.
My doula was amazing. She gently massaged my back through the pain and it did help. She also offered suggestions on how to keep me comfortable, and was a positive support for me during the entire process. I think if I didn't have her there, I would've gotten pain meds within a few hours of my contractions. It's just not something I wanted.
The nurses at the Toledo Hospital were excellent. I loved them. They helped me out so much and they were so supportive of what I was doing.
Of course, Matt is my rock.
